NICKY EBBAGE
PHOTOGRAPHY & FIBRE ARTS
TRANS PORTRAITS COMMUNITY PHOTO PROJECT
2020-2025
The Trans Portraits Community Photo Project was about promoting visibility and empowerment. Founded in July 2020, initially as Bristol Trans Portraits, the project was borne out of anger and frustration towards increasingly transphobic rhetoric in the UK media. Ultimately, I wanted the project to become a means for trans people to tell our own stories - both behind and in front of the camera.
I also wanted to use the project as a means to reach out and start a conversation with those who had perhaps never met a transgender person before. To that end, each participant was given the opportunity to share their experiences in writing, so that their stories could be displayed alongside the portraits.
In summer 2022, I held an exhibition of twelve portraits at St George's Bristol, and later that year I also released a magazine featuring all the participants to date. A number of images were later exhibited as part of the 'In Your Face - Queer Portraiture & Socially Engaged Photography' exhibition with the Socially Engaged Art Salon in 2025. The project has also been featured in the Royal Photographic Society magazine.
In 2025 I began taking portraits for the project again, expanding participation outside of Bristol this time, with the aim of releasing a second magazine around the theme of trans joy. Ultimately, I was only able to complete three of these before life became a bit to busy to continue, but the new stories and photographs that came from it brought me a lot of personal joy.
Included below are some of my favourite portraits and stories from the project. If you'd like to see the full collection, you can do so on Patreon or pick up a copy of the magazine in my shop!
TRAVIS | BRISTOL, 2022
When I look in the mirror I don’t know what gender I may be perceived as anymore. For me, this isn't a bad thing. I don’t identify as being ‘woman’. I am a masculine person, but also gender non-conforming, so labels still feel very clunky to attach to this body. Labels have always felt clunky even when I was a kid. I was always a gender non-confirming kid. Despite the familiar tomboy trope I liked wearing pretty things, and although I didn't love dresses, when I wore them I could see a boy staring back. It was confusing at the time.
I still feel like an imposter when I am referred to as ‘man’ not because of how I feel or look on a superficial level, but because I do not, and will never access the same privilege that is tied up within that word, because of my race. This influences how I navigate the world, not solely as a trans man, but as a Black trans person who continues to be othered and oppressed, who does not benefit from the supremacy moving through the world as [white] ‘man’.
I am called ‘sir’ and ‘m’am’ within the same breath by different people on the same street. Sometimes I laugh at them, as it tells me how fickle preconceived ideas on gender can be. I’m working to remind myself that I am whoever I want to be. Whatever I am becoming, I feel beautiful and free.
TIM | BRISTOL, 2020 (PICTURED WITH DAVINA)
Visibility means representation, it means an opening up of possibilities. It means seeing “yes” for the first time, after being told “no” so much in so many ways throughout your life.
Sometimes all you need is that one person who presents themselves, or has experiences and lives in a similar way to you to be given a spotlight. Their existence and that you are able to see it, might be all the “yes” you need to live the life you need to and want to live. To exist in such a way that’s healthiest and happiest for you.
For me, there were many “yes’s” that helped me understand my gender and sexuality. They showed me how a different way of living to the societal heteronormative binary norm is possible, and how it can be celebratory. My first yes was HOCC (Denise Ho), the first ever female singer musician in Hong Kong to “come out” publicly. She sang about Queerness in all its glorious forms and was my introduction into the Queer world."
CHLOE | CARDIFF, 2025
CONTENT WARNING FOR SUICIDE
I'm 34, and I grew up in a conservative home town and being a reprobate I was groomed into joining the Army. I was sent to Afghanistan and suffered some severe PTSD as a result. Coming out was a long process for me, it involved shedding an old skin and growing into who I am today, unlearning my upbringing and discovering that being happy is better than fitting in. Today I live a peaceful life, I try and live with my past in mind and have to confront it regularly. I enjoy riding my bike, conquering mountains and looking after my found family. There was a time in my life where the future looked very bleak. On a few occassions I came very close to ending my life voluntarily, and when I learned about being trans and what that could be for me those times were put behind me. Keep going, it gets better.
I didn't know trans people existed until I was 25. An internet friend killed themselves and I was discussing with another friend about it when she mentioned "dysphoria". Trying to be a good friend I looked this word up and in doing so learned she was trans, but so was I. The basic description of how you feel when dysphoria effects you was me up and down. I struggled with this, I struggled hard. After a week of living with this knowledge I had a mental breakdown, I left the army and I pursued a new life. I knew nothing of life outside the military, I knew nothing about how to exist on my own but I knew I needed to carve out an existence; however meagre, to become who I saw as the true authentic me. I survived all my roughest days, the London GIC, Medical mismanagement, Friends leaving me, Family leaving, friends dying and so many other trials, but here I am. I'm still here and I'm not going anywhere. Nobody scares me anymore.
